Inventory

I found a little program online that reads a 5 minute devotion to the kids. We've been doing it since yesterday. They're too busy fighting with one another and trying to stand up to pay total attention, but they are getting bits and pieces of it. I figure as long as they're getting something out of it that's positive, it's a good thing. :-)

Anyway, today they talked about taking a personal inventory of your life over the past year and figuring out what was pleasing to God and what was worthwhile and making it a goal to do more of those things in the new year. Lord, I pray that you will help my childen to be more loving, kind, obedient, and well-behaved. I pray that you will come into their hearts and help them to learn to be more like you. I also pray that you will help Andy and I continue to show patience, compassion, kindness and love in our journey as parents. Amen.

Meekness in spirit

Lord, I pray for my children and that you will give them meekness in their young little spirits. I pray that each of my children will grow in the likeness of Christ. With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love.

I lift each of my children up to You, Lord, and I pray that you will help them to love one another and be kind to one another.

One thing I really need to get back to is daily prayer...

I found some daily devotionals that I'm purchasing...one for preschoolers and one for family. We're going to start doing the preschool one before school and the family devotional after dinner. When I was laying in bed after my Dad and I's argument, God started speaking to me and prayer is something I definitely need to start doing more of. God will help me through...I just need to start devoting everything to Him. I was saying a daily rosary most days as well before I found out that I was pregnant and I feel that Mary is leading me back to that as well. I'm going to start praying daily for my role as a mother and I need to start praying for my children more often.

Good Christmas, Bad Ending

We had a wonderful Christmas, but unfortunately my Dad said some pretty horrible things to me at the end of Christmas that left me pretty upset. We just spoke again yesterday since Christmas and Andy and I explained ourselves. My Dad doesn't feel that he said anything wrong, but he felt that it was his right to have a say. Totally didn't get anything that we said. I prayed about it and just quit arguing and God gave me peace. God's plans aren't always what our parents plans for us are and I can come to accept that. I'm over it and moving forward. We did have a wonderful Christmas though and Sunday's church service on the feast of the Holy Family was beautiful.

Baby T did so well in speech today...

I had asked earlier this week to see about getting some articulation added in Baby T's speech. She chops her words so badly that most people can not understand her and even me at times struggles with understanding what she's saying and I'm with her all day. I know she's kind of young to do this, but something has got to give. I'm really wondering if a lot of her temper tantrums aren't due to the fact that she feels misunderstood, although I know a lot of it is behavioral as well. Anyway, they said they would work on it and make it a part of her goals but that it may take her longer to catch up in speech. I said that was fine, something has got to happen.

She sat down with the therapist today and they were going to work on k and g sounds, but she thought maybe b and f would be easier so they started on those. She chops the ends of her words off as well and so they were working on that as well. The therapist spent I don't know how long trying to get her to say "bite." Towards the end of the session, she was trying to tell the therapist something and said "bite" perfectly and without any prompting at all. The therapist was jumping for joy and I was just smiling away in the kitchen. Mommy is so proud of her!

So proud of Josiah!

We picked up some alphabet flash cards today and he went through them and told me probably about half of his letters. There were a couple that he didn't know the letter name, but he could tell me the sound that it made instead. That blew me away! He is SO smart! He's getting some letters mixed up like he calls the M a W and a S he says Z for. He calls the L a 1 and stuff like that, so some he doens't know but he's making common mistakes. He blew me away today and I am just SO proud of him! Now bad for a 3-year-old little boy!

Tired of being judged...

by people who I think would be on my side. My Mom had e-mailed me yesterday to let me know that it was the feast day of the Immaculate Conception and that it was a holy day of obligation. She said mass was at 12 and at 7 pm. Well, Baby T had speech at noon and we have therapy in Dallas after school and with traffic we didn't make it back on time. I've still been feeling pretty miserable...sick with some allergy/cold stuff this weekend that carried over, and tired and nauseated from being pregnant. So, I just decided to turn on EWTN before I took Little E to school and we watched mass and said a rosary. I told MOm that we weren't making mass because of what was going on. She told me "sorry, but that doesn't count." I instantly got tears in my eyes. I get so hurt by my family sometimes. I feel like saying "why don't you come walk in my shoes for a week and deal with all that I have going on, all the things that get dumped on me to deal with, the last minute stuff that comes up, and being tired and nauseated on top of it all?" I called Andy and vented and I sat down and it was like God told me "don't worry about it, give your feelings to Me, I know your heart and what your intentions are." I instantly felt better. The comment from my Mom still stings, but I know that only God can truly judge me and it's not like I blew off Mass just because I felt like doing something else more fun...I was taking care of my kids and my family. It brought me back to Father's sermon a couple weeks back...he was talking about how some have gone to confession saying that they are guilty of not praying enough and Father asked them waht they were doing...they said that they had this going on with their kids, trying to take care of the house, their husbands, sick family members and so on. He said that God understands this and that we just need to say little prayers throughout the day or make what we're doing our prayer to God. I knew that God understood my heart and I did make the effort to watch on tv and to make time for prayer with the kids. I also told her that our old priest had told me that if there was an honest reason that we couldn't make it to Mass and we made the effort to watch Mass on tv, that it still counted. She wrote me back and said "well the rules are changing all the time, we're told one thing at once and one thing at another, but who am I to argue with a priest?" I just feel like nobody truly understands how busy my weeks are and that I'm trying my best to get in everything that needs to be done, but God keeps telling me..."I know the intentions of your heart." So, I have to trust that I'm doing ok.

Disappointed....

The night of our homestudy, Deidra asked if she could be asked her questions before the caseworker talked to us so that she could go play with her friends. The caseworker said that was fine and talked to Deidra and then Deidra went to her friend's house. She was over there for a little bit and then came home. We were still talking to the caseworker. The caseworker left and about 10 minutes later there was a knock at the door. I thought it was the caseworker saying she forgot something, but I found Deidra's friend, her brother, and their Mom. Their Mom asked if she could talk to me privately and so I went out on the porch. Their Mom said that her daughter's cell phone was missing and the brother had said that Deidra had been playing with it. I called Deidra out and checked her pockets and found the phone. Deidra said that she forgot it was in there and their MOm said that stealing wasn't cool with her. I honestly didn't know what to think. Deidra burst into tears and ran in the house and I told Deidra she was grounded. Their Mom kept saying "I didn't want to come over here and accuse of her anything and it's ok." I told her that Deidra's never done anything like this before and I didn't know the whole story, but that it would be dealt with. Deidra told her that she forgot that she had put it in her pocket when they got called to play the Wii and then when she came home she realized she still had it and she was going to give it back to her friend at school in the morning. Their Mom said that she had told them to put it up and then the brother said that Deidra had gone back in there to get it because she wanted to play with it. They left and Andy and I talked with Deidra and she just wouldn't talk. She wrote to us a little bit, but wouldn't talk about much. She's grounded for a week, we're going to have her write a letter of apology, and I think when she does start playing with her friends again, it's going to be supervised here for awhile. She's got some friends who have some behaviors that I don't like and I think it's time to nip it in the bud now or she won't be playing with them any longer. I know that no kids are perfect, but I want her to be the best that she can be and I've been seeing some things lately with some of her behaviors that I think are the result of hanging around with certain people. How they deal with their kids is one thing, but I really want Deidra to understand the difference between right/wrong and what is unacceptable behavior. She's a good kid, I really don't know if she took the cell phone intentionally or if what she said is true that she put it in her pocket and forgot that it was there when she came home. But regardless, their Mom told them to put it up, she should have listened and with all that happened, I want this to be a learning experience for her.

Homestudy update

Our caseworker came out on Monday night and did our homestudy update. Really not much has changed since we just adopted Josiah in June, but we had to do it anyway. I don't know why I get nervous, but everything went well. She also did a session of adoption prep with the girls, one more prep session to do this week and then we're done with that part of it. I just have to sign some waivers and do another crim check and our part should be done. We also have to wait for one more reference to come in and then wait for her to type up our homestudy update and get it to CPS.

A crazy day...

The littles all woke up full of energy, yelling, screaming, badgering one another, not playing nicely, tempers a going, and into everything. I put Baby T to bed 15 minutes after she woke up this morning because she couldn't stop crying and screaming. After she calmed down, she did a lot better. Josiah wouldn't stop whining and running all over the house and he wouldn't leave Little E alone. Little E wouldn't stop hitting and trying to take toys from the other kids and it was all just constant. Little E finally settled down once I gave her her ADHD meds this afternooon, Josiah got put to bed because he wouldn't stop whining and he fell asleep in his bed. Baby T didn't want to take a nap in her room, she wanted to lay on the couch. I told her I'd let her lay on the couch, but the minute she got down, she was going to go in her room. She laid there for a few minutes, the phone rang and I was talking to a friend for about 20 minutes. I heard something sound like somebody poured water onto the floor and went around the kitchen wall to find that Baby T was in the little bathroom playing in the sink. Water and toilet paper were in the sink, toilet paper clogged the drain, so water was pouring over the sides of the sink and onto the floor. She was all wet and there was standing water on the floor. Thankfully, it wasn't too bad of a mess and I was able to get it all sopped up with most of my towels that I had just washed that I had downstairs. I got her out of her wet clothes and put her to bed. She wasn't too happy about it, but oh well. She was sound asleep a couple minutes later though and I went to work on cleaning up the mess that she made. I'm just glad that it wasn't as bad as the last over-flowing bathroom incident that we had almost 2 years ago that Josiah and Baby D made. UGH

Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving was very nice. Started the day off with a bad run-in with the top of the pumpkin lid when I was trying to open it and thought I was going to need stitches. That got Andy out of bed quickly at 5 am. lol. It was a bad cut and I can't do much or it starts bleeding again, but thankfully it wasn't bad enough to require stitches. Never had stitches and didn't want to start now. After baking some bread and some pies, I went to mass and it was beautiful. I love our new priest so much. He does such beautiful homilies and such nice blessings. Came home and got the littles dressed for the day and Andy and I planned out what time we were going to start everything. Mom and Jimmie came over around 1. Mom brought mac and cheese and we made turkey, cranberry apple sausage stuffing (first time I made homemade stuffing and Andy said it needs to be a new tradition, he enjoyed it that much), mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin bread, and green bean casserole and corn. Dessert was fudge pie, pumpkin cheesecake, and tropical cake. So yummy! My brother, Zach, even showed up for dinner, but he didn't stay long. This was the first family function that he's been at in quite a few years though, so it's a start. Andy started not feeling well after dinner, so he took a nap and Mom and I watched UP with the kids and she played baby dolls with them. After everyone got up, we did a small bible study with Mom, Deidra and I. We just went over Psalm 27:1-5 and we kept talking about what certain things meant to us and how we could relate in our lives so we didn't get super far, but it was beneficial to all of us anyway. Mom took Deidra home with her to spend the night since she was off today and Andy and I really enjoyed one another's company yesterday. It was a really nice day!

We talked a little bit about what we were all thankful for in the morning...

Josiah is thankful for family.
Little E is thankful for our dog.
Deidra is thankful for her PS2.
Baby T is thankful for Mommy and Daddy.
I am thankful for my family, my husband, my children, this baby on the way, my parents, my brothers.
Andy told me yesterday that he was very thankful that I was his wife. Awww!

The ways children embarrass us...

I took the kids up to the gymnastics center for open gym today since where we were originally going to go today shut down (boo hoo!). One of the employees comes out with Josiah to tell me that some lady informed him that Josiah went into the ladies bathroom, crawled under the stall (that the lady was in no less), and wound up in the stall with her. I put him in time out for awhile and sat there looking around wondering which woman he did that too and what that woman must think of me. I was horribly embarrassed. Granted, he is only 3, but I wish he would start getting some of the stuff that I am trying to teach him. Anyway, that's my funny story/embarrassing story of the day.

A bonfire...

We had our van in the shop this week, something wasn't right when we got it back and I went and took it back in. That day, I was very crabby and when I walked in Mom's dealership one of the service techs immediately copped an attitude with me that nearly brought me to tears. I managed to hold it together, bit my tongue, he finally agreed to go test drive it, and I went and found my Mom. Told her what happened and she sat and talked with me a bit. The tech came back to find me and said he found the problem and he fixed it. Mom said with the way that he came walking back there, I must have given him a certain look as that wasn't really like him. I told her that I was just tired of everything coming out of my mouth being met with a battle. She told me I was being tested. She said that she knew it had to be hormones because she rarely has seen me like that (the way I was that day). The kids were all acting up and I was trying my best to deal with everything. She complimented me later that day and thought I handled everything very well considering the way that I was feeling. Anyway, she wants me to talk to the doctor about how tired I've been and the way that the nausea has been. I told her that I doubt they're going to be able to do anything, it's just pregnancy. Hopefully, I should start feeling better soon. Anyway, I asked her for her ghoulash recipe as I've really been wanting that lately. She wound up inviting us over after church on Sunday and she had made me a huge pot of ghoulash, chicken nuggets, and some garlic bread. It was so good! We stayed and the kids played with some stuff she had gotten for them and I think they are getting a bit more used to being at Grandma's as they weren't SO into everything like they were before. We built a bonfire in the back to get rid of Mom's woodpile and Andy and I burned the past 7 years of receipts. What memories we found! We wound up roasting hot dogs and making smores. Around 7, the nausea hit me, but I still had a really good time. It was nice to spend that time with Mom and her and Andy even watched the kids for about an hour so I could take a nap. That was nice! Got to spend some time with my brother, Jimmie, so that was nice too. I think we're going to go to the movies together while he's on break one night after Andy gets home. My Mom wants to go see the Christmas Carol too. Guess we'll see what this week brings. There's some things that I really would like to do if I'm feeling ok.

Turkey day plans...

After last years fiasco, I was unsure of what to do for Thanksgiving this year. However, I felt God telling me to reach out and not be afraid. So, I invited Mom and the boys over to our house this year. She accepted and is going to bring some macaroni and cheese over. I felt my apprehension go and I really think that this Thanksgiving is going to be a good one. We have so much to be thankful for this year.

So thankful...

I am so thankful for God, my faith, my parents, my family, my friends, God has really brought some amazing people into my life. I am going to start spending a lot more time with them. I decided that I get too busy tending to things around here, that I don't spend enough time with the people that God brings to me and want to be a part of our life. I am so thankful for my children. They all bless me in different ways and I am constantly learning from them. I am so thankful for their unconditional love that they give and for their loving little hearts. I am so grateful for this baby that I have growing inside of me. I am SO thankful that yesterday marked the first day of my 2nd trimester. I am thankful that God has really been leading me lately and that I am letting Him guide me. I am thankful for my husband and how great he's been with my pregnancy as I know that I can be quite moody sometimes with how sick and tired I've been at times. The nausea has been the worst over these past couple of weeks and it seems to set in around 4-6 pm. He's eaten my slop that I've cooked because I couldn't manage much more. He's helped take care of the kids and he takes them out on the weekends for Daddy/children time so that I can get some quiet time to rest or do whatever I want. I am thankful that the girls' adoption is finally starting to get rolling as well. I really want them to be adopted by the time this baby is born. I am thankful for my beautiful house and for all the blessings that God has given to us in Texas with Andy's job and that his company is so great to work for and that they always seem to be understanding of him. I am thankful for friends old and new. I am thankful for a lot of things and I could continue to go on and on. I am also thankful that my parents are able to be friends. I still continue to pray that they'll be able to get back together, but God's hands are in that and He knows what is best. Abba, thanks so much for blessing me and my family. Thank you for all that you do for us! I ask for your blessings over all my family and friends during this Thanksgiving season and always.